39. When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid

Parshah Chukas

*Important attribution note: All quotes listed in this article are credited to the Artscroll Stone Edition Chumash. Here is an Extremely Clear Citation so I don’t get in trouble: Nosson Scherman, Hersh Goldwurm, Avie Gold, & Meir Zlotowitz. (2015). The Chumash: the Torah, Haftaros and Five Megillos. Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

Numbers 19: 2-9*

“Speak to the Children of Israel, and they shall take to you a completely red cow, which is without blemish, and upon which a yoke has not come… [the Kohen] shall take it out to the outside of the camp and someone shall slaughter it in his presence… Someone shall burn the cow before his eyes… 

The Kohen shall immerse his clothing and immerse himself in water, and afterward he may enter the camp… A pure man shall gather the ash of the cow and place it outside the camp in a pure place. For the assembly of Israel it shall remain as a safekeeping, for water of sprinkling; it is for purification.” 

You might recognize the red cow concept from a South Park episode. There are entire nonprofit organizations in Israel and Texas dedicated to recreating this sacrifice, from finding a perfectly red cow to securing the sacrificial site. The efforts to restart the red cow sacrifice were one of the motivations for the October 7th attack. 

Jews want the red cow sacrifice to happen because it’s supposed to herald the coming of the Jewish Messiah; Christians want it to happen because it supposedly leads to the building of the Third Temple, which heralds the coming of the Antichrist, who precedes the Christian Messiah. 

I was talking to my partner the other day, who has never been religious, and he pointed out how crazy it is that each of Earth’s religions is mutually exclusive; they each believe their religion is true and the others are false. In my opinion, what is even crazier is that at their core, they’re different flavors of the same religion, just with different details! Even though Jews are sacrificing a holy cow and Hindus would never kill a cow because they’re holy, they both focus on cows and their holiness. 

There are so many other examples of this. Just about every one of our religions has similar tenets (both good and bad), similar end-of-world prophecies, and an origin story. 

Numbers 20: 7-12*

“Hashem spoke to Moses, saying, ‘Take the staff and gather together the assembly, you and Aaron your brother, and speak to the rock before their eyes that it shall give its waters. You shall bring forth for them water from the rock and give drink to the assembly and to their animals.’

Moses took the staff from before Hashem… Moses raised his arm and struck the rock with his staff twice; abundant water came forth and the assembly and their animals drank. 

Hashem said to Moses and to Aaron, ‘Because you did not believe in Me to sanctify Me in the eyes of the Children of Israel, therefore you will not bring this congregation to the Land that I have given them.’” 

The Israelites complained because they were dying of thirst, so God told Moses to speak to a rock, and it would provide water. Instead, Moses decided to strike the rock and speak to it. 

In a huge departure from my initial mindset when I started this project, I now believe Moses made up everything God said. If true, it makes this episode very interesting. Perhaps this is the moment when Moses started to drink his Kool-Aid, meaning he started to believe that the God whose voice he created was actually real. Otherwise, why else would he subject himself to punishment? 

Alternatively, perhaps Moses suspected he was dying and needed an excuse for why he wouldn’t be going into the Land. If the Israelites discovered that Moses was human enough to die of natural causes before they even entered Israel, the rebellions probably would have increased. 

Numbers 20: 23-28*

“Hashem said to Moses and Aaron at Mount Hor by the border of the land of Edom, saying, ‘Aaron shall be gathered to his people, for he shall not enter the Land that I have given to the Children of Israel, because you defied My word at the waters of strife. Take Aaron and Elazar his son and bring them up to Mount Hor. Strip Aaron of his vestments and dress Elazar his son in them; Aaron shall be gathered in and die there.’ 

Moses did as Hashem commanded, and they ascended Mount Hor before the eyes of the assembly… Aaron died there on the top of the mountain, and Moses and Elazar descended from the mountain.”  

Wow. Moses killed Aaron in favor of Elazar. As Aaron’s son, Elazar was in on the conspiracy, so we have conspiracy and patricide. 

Numbers 21: 21-24*

“Israel sent emissaries to Sihon, king of the Amorite, saying, ‘Let me pass through your land; we shall not turn off to field or vineyard; we shall not drink well water; on the king’s road shall we travel, until we pass through your border.’

But Sihon did not permit Israel to pass through his border, and Sihon assembled his entire people and went out against Israel to the Wilderness…Israel smote him with the edge of the sword and took possession of his land.”

And the colonization begins. As the nation’s leader, it was pretty reasonable for Sihon to refuse to allow millions of Israelites, who had slaughtered millions of Egyptians and the whole Egyptian army, to pass through his land. 

Moses’ request to pass “peacefully” through Sihon’s land was probably just a pretext meant to provoke Sihon into attacking and giving the Israelites an excuse to take the land.

*Again with the Extremely Clear Citation so I don’t get in trouble: Nosson Scherman, Hersh Goldwurm, Avie Gold, & Meir Zlotowitz. (2015). The Chumash : the Torah, Haftaros and Five Megillos. Mesorah Publications, Ltd.